dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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