due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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