Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to calm my uterus...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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