SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize