Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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