I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize