Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
