my mouth tastes like poor choices
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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