sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there was a trapeze. enough said
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
