just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
