remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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