What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
