You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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