somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
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There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
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