note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
