In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
