Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
