Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
