i think my tv is drunk
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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