Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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