I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
