to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
