yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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