Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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