So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
