I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
