wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize