he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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