Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
