yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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