Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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