Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
