Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
