I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
