don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
