I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize