all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
