Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
