did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
