wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
