I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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