It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
