glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
