The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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