Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh god it's open bar.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
