This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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