Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize