im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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