He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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