Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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