Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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