Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
