But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
