the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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