where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
wow bdsm is so cute
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
