i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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